i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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