That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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