if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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