if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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