My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
