found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
