If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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