Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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