i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i was born a porn star she said
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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