that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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