Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
