do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Bring me that man meat
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
