I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
