what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
