Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
