Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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