I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
