I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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