Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
