Having a random hookup so left but love u
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
