bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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