haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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