Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
