Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
