I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
