she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
