What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
