just come out here and I will go home with you...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize