I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
