you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
