i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
