You can't motorboat a personality
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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