I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
