Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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