I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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