Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i drank out of a bidet.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
