after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
