It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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