I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
