Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize