Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Alive.
So much puke
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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