You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
