last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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