I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
