my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
