Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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