I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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