It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
