It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
