Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My liver just broke up with me...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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