It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
