i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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