I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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