If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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