Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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