He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
