I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
