I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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