What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
