And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
