so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
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Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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