how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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