I'm eating all of the evidence.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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