Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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