The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
