He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
